Professor Froward's Slough of Despond

Proud purveyor of flawed generalizations and vacuous tautologies.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Now It Can Be Told

A commenter at Althouse notices that Prof. A. looks photoshopped into this picture. He's right. That picture of Althouse is really from this previously suppressed image of the Reichstag fire:

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wow. Just... Wow.

Over at Foreign Policy, Carolyn O'Hara thinks the poor Muslims in Thailand should be given prizes for decapitating schoolteachers and Buddhist monks. She thinks they should be given more autonomy. Why? Because they kill schoolteachers, that's why. If the Ku Klux Klan started decapitating teachers in Georgia, surely she'd want to reward them too? No? Gee. Go figure. She refers to psychopaths murdering teachers and monks as "fighting". No, that's not fighting, that's psychopaths murdering people. But there is not a single hint in the piece about the actual nature of what's going on there. It's just "fighting".

She quotes some other moron, John Brandon of the Asia Foundation. He's pleased that one of the leaders of the recent coup is a Muslim. Obviously both morons approve of the coup; they're humanitarians, and the deposed government was democratic. Three guesses what kind of "intellectual" this guy is, and the first two don't count:

[The insurgents] feel that he will be able to work with Muslim insurgents in the south and create a strategy that promotes peace and security.

"A strategy that promotes peace and security"? What planet is this clown from? Maybe he means that when all non-Muslims in that part of Thailand are dead, things'll be quiet for a while. Until the Muslims attack the rest of Thailand. Moron.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Sic. Sic as a dog.

Norm Geras has an open letter to Jews [sic] for Justice [sic] for Palestine [sic].

P.S. They say you don't have to attribute when you quote the Bible; surely the same applies to Dorothy Parker?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Espionage!!1!

What a shame these people didn't sell secrets relating to national security instead of the Coca-Cola formula. They'd be on the lecture circuit instead of in jail.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Patriotism Questioned

A typically savage Nazi-style Rovlerburtonlerian attack on dissenters:

Outlining an alleged plot to bomb the Sears Tower in Chicago and a federal building in Miami, Gonzales told a Justice Department news conference: "They were persons who for whatever reason came to view their home country as the enemy."

This is terrorism, plain and simple. There is no other word for it. To question the patriotism of an American citizen is terrorism. It is utterly beyond the bounds of reasonable discourse. It is also un-American. Gonzales, objectively an anti-American terrorist, has a lot of nerve calling hismelf a patriot, as he implicitly does. Any fool can see that he is not. Naturally, he maintains plausible deniability by not actually mentioning patriotism, but that is what his code phrases mean, and we all know it.

In fact, viewing your home country as the enemy is the highest form of dissent, and therefore the highest form of patriotism, as Patrick Henry so famously observed so many years ago. Gonzales is attempting to peddle the radical right-wing fringe extremist rightwingwingnuttianwing extremist fringe-radical Sharonist-Likudist neoconlerburtonposition that only those mindless sheeple who slavishly neglect to blow up their fellow citizens can qualify as patriots. But the great American public would see through these pathetic, laughable lies, if only they hadn't been brainwashed to agree with the frighteningly extreme views of the neocons.

But how can we reach them?

Perhaps we can shock them into seeing the reasonableness of our position by calling them brainwashed sheeple anti-American asshole terrorists. It's worth a try.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Women and Children Hardest Hit

From the Associated Press via Yahoo (thanks to Tim Blair):

Hawaiian Waters Grow Crowded with Whales

...

Environmental groups call the trend alarming...

Fortunately, I'm semi-hoaxing you (that there ellipsis after the headline covers a lot of ground): The environmentalists in question are actually alarmed (this time) about an increase in collisions between whales and boats near Hawaii; the increase appears to be a statistically inevitable result of that environment being richer in targets, whale-wise.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

The UN

Have you ever heard anybody admit that the UN is fundamentally broken, but then go on to say that we should support it blindly and unconditionally anyway, because "it's the best we've got"? I have, though not in the last year or two.

Well, it occurs to me that stewbums drink Sterno for precisely the same reason.