Nobody needs fresh air for self-defense.

Inspiration strikes over at mASS BACKWARDS: People (especially THE CHILDREN!!1!) die by falling out of windows all the time. Shouldn't they be subjected to strict controls? Nobody needs windows.

One thing he missed: With no windows, criminals can't get into your home. See? Windows increase crime!

Jesus, I live on the third floor. That makes me the fresh-air-and-sunshine equivalent of the Michigan Militia: A Radical Ventilation Extremist. I drive a convertible, too!