Professor Froward's Slough of Despond

Proud purveyor of flawed generalizations and vacuous tautologies.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

What I Saw at the Hearings

SENATOR QUAGMIRE: What about robbery, if the... the defendant is accused of [consults notes] robbery? Guilty, or not guilty?

JUDGE WHATSISNAME: I promise to convict, sir.

SENATOR QUAGMIRE: Very good. I'm... The American people and a... have a right to know, to rely on that. I would like to share with the people of this great land... [indistinct] of [indistinct] and I am opposed to robbery, staunchly opposed to robbery. And [slurred, unclear] impending, consequential uhh... derivative with... or under [indistinct] propagating [indistinct, indistinct, unprintable, indistinct] as a member of the fine Party I have the honor to represent.